Alana, That’s your new name, you informed me. Today, you’re wearing a braid for the first time. It’s tiny. This past Monday, you ate granola for the first time. Amazing that it’s taken this long considering how much of a crunchy (granola) momma I am.

Lily, Daddy just sent you to your room (again). He’s telling you that you’re in there, because you were bad. I wouldn’t say that. I don’t know what to do with you any more.